paradoxes of parenting pubescents

Today my 13-year-old son and I were at the grocery store, and he bumped into one of his friends whom he hadn’t seen for a while. His friend apparently said to him “Oh yeah, the last time I saw you was when your parents attacked me.” I remember it clearly. We were having dinner and […]

everything flows, nothing stands still…

A week ago, after his second football game of the season, my thirteen-year-old son climbed into the back seat of his grandparents’ car and sat down next to me. My parents came from out-of-town to watch him play, and he played his heart out for nearly every minute of the game. Fifteen minutes or so […]

rest in peace Everett Williams, crystal child

Dear Lovely Death Dear lovely death That taketh all things under wing- Never to kill- Only to change Into some other thing This suffering flesh, To make it either more or less, Yet not again the same- Dear lovely death, Change is thy other name -Langston Hughes, 1931 Last Saturday I attended the memorial service […]

our stellar evolution

You, with your relative youth your pout, your upward gaze. A young stellar object. And me, in front of you by decades. I see you as if in a mirror, behind me coming up fast in your body a month now perhaps for every year I’ve practiced being alive. I’m a supernova to your protostar. […]

choosing to do wrong, and failing to do good…

Most of us have a youthful time in our lives that we look back upon fondly, even if it was fleeting or fraught. This period in our life is often characterized by experimentation, falling in love, creativity, or travel, but mostly by a sense of unbridled freedom and a feeling of endless possibility. This time […]

what you sow

Yesterday my partner Werner and I visited the small apartment where we are told his father has lived for the past four years. Werner’s uncle called a week ago to tell him that the medical examiner’s office was looking for him because his father had died. Werner was apparently the only known next of kin. […]

The tide rises, the tide falls: telling stories of a father who is gone.

There’s a story a man has told for most of his life. He has changed the story to suit himself as he’s grown older and wiser and gained life experience. He knows the story intimately, yet he doesn’t really know it at all. While he believes in his story, he is aware that it could […]

A difficult story to tell…

Recently I participated in a brief exchange on Facebook on the topic of sexual assault.  The person who initiated the discussion was upset by the comments following an article at Jezebel.com written by a woman who had been sexually assaulted on the street.  Apparently the nature of the offending comments were of the “I would’ve broken his hand!” variety.  My friend’s premise in […]

You can leave, but you have to take yourself with you.

When my first-born son was in fifth grade, he began having major issues with the idea of going to school every day. He made it through that school year which was not coincidentally a time of challenge for our family. His sixth grade year got off to a rocky start and continued along that trajectory for the duration of the school year, and he begged his father […]