paradoxes of parenting pubescents

Today my 13-year-old son and I were at the grocery store, and he bumped into one of his friends whom he hadn’t seen for a while. His friend apparently said to him “Oh yeah, the last time I saw you was when your parents attacked me.” I remember it clearly. We were having dinner and […]

everything flows, nothing stands still…

A week ago, after his second football game of the season, my thirteen-year-old son climbed into the back seat of his grandparents’ car and sat down next to me. My parents came from out-of-town to watch him play, and he played his heart out for nearly every minute of the game. Fifteen minutes or so […]

put your teenager in the meadow and watch him

Motherhood is daunting. No matter how many coats of denial and idealism one whitewashes it with, it is a formidable journey and it is not always easy to stay convinced of the delightfulness of the upbringing and management of the fruits of our genetic entanglements. Life is up and down, and take-it-as-it-comes, and full of […]

dénouement: the lonely sea

The flyer reads “Celebration of life”. The young caseworker who knew Werner’s father briefly at the end of his life is in charge of this event. On the phone beforehand, she tells me she has only worked here for a short time, and before this, she says, she worked with teenagers, so this is new […]

choosing to do wrong, and failing to do good…

Most of us have a youthful time in our lives that we look back upon fondly, even if it was fleeting or fraught. This period in our life is often characterized by experimentation, falling in love, creativity, or travel, but mostly by a sense of unbridled freedom and a feeling of endless possibility. This time […]

what you sow

Yesterday my partner Werner and I visited the small apartment where we are told his father has lived for the past four years. Werner’s uncle called a week ago to tell him that the medical examiner’s office was looking for him because his father had died. Werner was apparently the only known next of kin. […]

The tide rises, the tide falls: telling stories of a father who is gone.

There’s a story a man has told for most of his life. He has changed the story to suit himself as he’s grown older and wiser and gained life experience. He knows the story intimately, yet he doesn’t really know it at all. While he believes in his story, he is aware that it could […]

Polish me then 2013. I will accept whatever gladness you have to offer.

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” – Rumi I had an unpleasant New Year’s Eve.  Perhaps it was that I had just fallen back to earth with a resounding “thud” from a happy high of holiday bliss which included delightful time spent with my sweetie and children, and my family and old friends. Perhaps it was […]

Don’t forget to enjoy yourself while you’re waiting for the light!

It is a hard time of year.  The darkness seems to gather momentum as the solstice looms.  These shorter, colder days amplify challenges for those who are suffering – the mentally ill, the homeless, the unemployed, the grieving, the addicted, the poor, the recovering – in other words, all of us in some way or another. […]

Hey boys! Wanna do something nice for yer lady…?

…or your man, as the case may be?  I have some great ideas.  This post is inspired by my magnificent friend Le Clown over at A Clown on Fire who enlisted my help with Bloggers for Movember.  And since I am, like his beautiful wife Sara who blogs at Laments and Lullabies, a procrastinator, here is my 11th-hour Movember men’s health […]